The first thing that pops
When I look in the mirror
Is how small my monolid eyes are.
As a child, I wanted them large
And blue
Sea blue, not a brown so dark it’s
Almost black.
My nose is round and flat
I thought it too big—
I also didn’t like my hair
All its stick straight glory and how
It was the same colour as every other
Chinese person I know.
Because wouldn’t it be nice
To have hair that’s wavy and blonde?
Because wouldn’t it be nice
To be white?
I’m not five years old anymore
That was a decade ago.
I found other things to hate about myself
My grades, my mental health
My body.
How I wasn’t like other girls and
How I didn’t fit in.
Because wouldn’t it be nice
To fit in?
Because wouldn’t it be nice
To be normal?
But lotuses come in many different forms
And we are all lotuses
Different colours, different kinds
We are all special
We all have our meaning
We are all beautiful.
Wouldn’t it be nice
To see the world as a river of flowers?
I still don’t know how.
Lotus, Lotus, Lotus by Rachel Chiu-yi Ngai - Hong Kong/Arkansas, U.S.